It's Hard to Drain the Swamp When Yer up to Yer Ears in Alligators!
It's Hard to Drain the Swamp When Yer up to Yer Ears in Alligators is a book of encouragement. My stories deal with the real, difficult issues of life in the ministry, as well as life in general, in a comincal and unthreatening manner. It teaches that laughter can outweigh the tears.
My hope in this writing is that you will laugh with me, and cry with me, but most of all that you learn with me as we travel together through not only the life of a pastor’s wife and her family, but the ups and downs in the lives of all Christians as we pass through this world where we are strangers, a world that is not our home, while on our way to eternity. Yes, it is hard to drain the swamp when yer up to yer ears in alligators!
Section 1: Lessons of Youth
Miracles! The Megaphone of God
Wow! I thought. What an awesome story! Missionaries, cannibals, a terror-filled night, the threat of doom. This adventure had it all! I was on the edge of my seat with anticipation as Mom continued.
Scottish protestant missionaries, John G. Paton and his wife, whose lives were constantly threatened by the natives of the New Hebrides Islands of the South Pacific, were now surrounded by those same angry natives who seemed to be patiently waiting for the perfect moment to storm their house for bloody revenge. How long that night must have seemed. And these weren’t just any natives; they were the cannibals of Tanna. I shuddered as I listened to the Patons’ true story.
John and his wife must have been terrified. To my young mind it just didn’t seem fair. Here this young couple had sacrificed all their worldly possessions and traveled to an island filled with man-eaters to share the message of salvation, yet instead of the natives being grateful for their message of hope, it appeared that . . . dinner was being served. To be eaten by savages! That was more than I could fathom.
Mom continued with the mission story, explaining that when morning arrived and the Patons looked out their window, the natives were gone. Sometime during the night, while the couple was praying for
God’s special protection, the natives had disappeared.
How strange! I wondered. Why would these natives, who appeared to be in complete control of the situation, just turn and leave? I was certain that John and his wife must have wondered the same question, and as the story progressed, I discovered that I was right. Exactly one year later, after the chief of Tanna was converted to Christ, John quizzed him on why he and his warriors had not killed them that night. The chief answered with a question. “Who were all those men you had with you there?” John was puzzled. “There were no men there; just my wife and I.” The chief began to argue that he and his warriors had seen many men standing guard—hundreds of big men in shining garments with swords drawn, ready for battle. They seemed to circle the mission station and were so fierce looking that he and his braves were too frightened to attack (Dr. Billy Graham’s 1975 Angels: God’s Secret Agents).
How exciting that moment must have been for the Patons, to discover that God had sent his mighty angelic warriors to surround their home for protection. Their salvation was nothing short of miraculous. I loved these stories! How I wanted that kind of an exciting life; to be a missionary, to be delivered by God in such awesome and supernatural ways. As a child, it seemed like the Patons’ life—a life on the edge with attacks coming from every direction—was one to envy. It never crossed my young mind that living through those extremely difficult situations might not be as fun as they sounded in storybook form.
Now, after being a pastor’s wife for nearly thirty years, I long for a little less excitement. A quiet, restful evening at home without any drama; getting to work in my yard, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face, and hearing the noises of God’s creation. Those are the times to cherish. What are not so easy to treasure are the trials of life, the difficult situations that cause us to wonder if we will even survive. Yet scripturally speaking, I must cherish those times as well, for it is when the natives are restless and have surrounded that our God molds us into who He wants us to be.
During our years of ministry, my husband and I have seen hundreds come to Christ for salvation, so as much as I appreciate the peaceful times, I must still affirm that the drama has been worth it all. Lives have been changed for eternity, what more could I ask? Although sometimes I do wonder, if I had known then what I know today and had it all to do over again, would I take the same path? Would I again be willing to live through those terror-filled nights? Would I again be willing to live in the “minister’s fishbowl” with what feels like the entire world staring in, criticizing my family’s every move? Would I again be willing to endure that enemy of all that is righteous who bitterly declares, “We’ve got to take that family down!” Would I . . . ? Would I . . . ? Yet every time I ask myself that question, my answer always comes back the same. Absolutely! After all, how can you compare seventy or eighty years of hardship in this life to our hope of eternity with our Heavenly Father? And that excitement I wished for as a child, well, all I can say to that is, you might want to be careful for what you wish, because you just might get it.
Looking back now, all I can do is shake my head in wonder at some of the terror-filled, surrounded-by-the-enemy, nights we’ve lived through; yet amazingly, even in the midst of these nights of terror, God has intertwined such unbelievable happenings that, on many occasions, I literally laughed until I cried. Now, having been a Christian for nearly forty years, I must confess that one of the most wonderful lessons I’ve learned about our God is that . . . He has such a sense of humor.
Humor? Yes, humor. And praise his name He has graciously bestowed that sense of humor upon us, his beloved creation. There have been many times, often while enduring the most horrendous of circumstances, when something so bizarre happened that I doubled over in laughter, tears streaming uncontrollably from my eyes. You’ve probably had moments like that, moments when you felt your gut would split from laughing at the silliness of the human race.
Truly, one of God’s greatest gifts to mankind is the ability to laugh. He knows us; He loves us; He created us. He knew we would need some sort of physical release to help us keep our sanity in this outrageously messed up, cannibalistic (symbolically speaking) world in which we live. Without question, we should thank God for the ability to laugh—and especially for the ability to laugh through the trials and tribulations of life. Yes, how miserable our days would be were the “terror-filled nights” not offset by the “laugh until you cry” experiences. Solomon understood. He wrote in Proverbs 17:22, “A merry heart does good, like medicine.”
